Money problems can oftentimes be a real issue in marriage.
If one or both couples are not financially well-off, problems in the relationship in terms of money issues may arise. Sometimes it can lead to marriage conflict resulting in unwanted breakage between couples if not resolved early on.
Financial problems have always been a part of everyday struggles for the majority of us. Interestingly, when it comes to money, we tend to be very mindful of how we use it. As a consequence, arbitrary preferences in the appropriate use of one’s finances are a major source of conflicts among couples—each wants to control the other’s financial behavior, and when there’s resistance on each, resentments reign.
Dealing with money problems in marriage
There are many things that change once an individual enters marriage; one such is the need for the responsible handling of one’s spending habits. Unlike when we were single, we have sole disposal of our financial resources, in marriage, however, we always need to take into consideration our responsibility to use our money for the greater benefit of the marriage—including the ensuing family.
But how can you define responsible handling of one’s finances in marriage?
I believe that as long as you do your best to address your marriage’s financial requirements without depriving yourself of your own legitimate need, you are being responsible.
Understandably in marriage, however, each has expectations of how the other should handle their finances. It is of no help if each will start bickering about the “appropriate” spending priorities—this method will not resolve anything.
To resolve money issues in marriage, each must have a level of understanding over the legitimacy of the other’s spending behavior; each must understand the limits of the other and be not critical should there be an inadvertent shortcoming.
So long as your husband gives some priority on bills and food on the table, don’t criticize him if he spends money on beer; as long as your wife gives her financial contribution of her family needs, there’s no need to question her regarding her shopping sprees.
Learn to understand the financial capability of the other in relation to the obligations he must meet.
If you observe that his financial capability is declining, never readily assume irresponsibility; perhaps factors like the market forces have something to do with it—there are many instances that one's spending power deviates because of inflation or high prices of basic commodities. Also, there are some inevitable instances when there’s an outside force that will require financial attention—of course, this has to be legitimate. For example, your partner’s mother may need financial assistance due to emergencies; in such an instance, it’s reasonable that you give consideration to such outside expense; after all, it’s a close relative.
A truth however one must learn: that some people are indifferent enough to give consideration. In such an instance, you must learn to keep a secret from such spouse.
Some may label this suggestion as ill-intended, but to keep harmony in marriage we must sometimes learn not to disclose everything to our partners if we find it more beneficial to the well-being of our marriage.
In the enigma of money and marriage, responsibility, understanding, consideration and open communication are the keys that will transgress any conflicts. Be not too strict and allow elbow room for each other’s isolated mishandling or inadvertent arbitrariness in the handling of one’s finances. Remember, there are more important things than money.